A simile makes a direct comparison between two very different things – “memory like a sieve”, “sick as a parrot”, “drunk as a skunk”, “good as gold”…I could go on. Often, but not always, they will use the word ‘like’. For instance, “She goes on and on like a stuck record” or “He has a handshake like a wet fish.” Used sparingly, similes can spice up your writing but like metaphors should, ideally, be original. In fact, some grammar purists believe we actually need help avoiding rather than using similes to avoid tired clichés. Again, something that is much easier said than done.
While on the subject of good writing, I’ll touch on ‘hyperbole’ – the technical term for wild exaggeration and deliberate overstatement employed by drama queens everywhere. You know the kind – the attention-seeking colleague who loudly declares she’s “dying of thirst”, proclaims she “could murder a cheese sandwich” and “will scream if she doesn’t get away on time tonight.” Let’s face it, someone who offered you “a thousand apologies” would probably be quite taken aback if you actually insisted on having them.
Hyperbole has to be either witty or utterly outrageous to succeed. As a writer, I will forever admire the creator of such classics as “He couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery” or “She couldn’t run a bath.” It takes real talent to come up with an original yet utterly apt expression that instantly paints a vivid picture of exactly what it is you are trying to convey.
