It’s been a while since I tackled euphemisms – the art of avoiding use of a potentially offensive word while still attempting to get your message across. Much to the bemusement of those of us who grew up in more thick-skinned times, we must now avoid using words that are clear, direct and honest for fear of causing offence. So an almost blind person becomes ‘partially sighted’, my all but deaf mother-in-law is ‘aurally challenged’ and I can claim to have never been drunk – merely ‘merry’ or ‘a bit worse for wear’ (especially over the Christmas period).
With the seemingly unstoppable spread of political correctness, euphemisms are now so much a part of our everyday lives that any user of the English language has to become an expert in not saying what we mean. We start learning early, using cute expressions like ‘botty’, ‘poo’ and ‘wee wee’ as replacements for words we find embarrassing then progress naturally to adult equivalents such as ‘waterworks’, ‘naughty bits’ and ‘hanky panky’.
In our efforts to be polite, the poor become ‘those in a lower income bracket’, slum homes are called ‘inner city housing’ and slum clearance is reinvented as ‘urban regeneration’. Euphemisms are prevalent in every area of life today and the more cynical among us become adept at spotting their true meaning. Consider what these examples, commonly used in job descriptions, really mean:
| What it says | What it really means |
| Pleasant working manner essential | Must be subservient/willing to be treated badly |
| Perfect opportunity for school leavers | Pathetically low pay |
| All the advantages of a large company | No one knows anyone else’s name |
| Salary negotiable | But only downwards |
| Earn £££s! | Through commission-only of course |
| Must have a sense of humour | Don’t even think about complaining |
| Earn money while working from home | Be exploited under your own roof |
As a writer, it goes against the grain to encourage anyone to be less than frank in their communications but – in much the same spirit as a ‘white lie’ – it could be argued that the judicious use of euphemisms is justified when it will spare people’s feelings. What do you think? Share your views by emailing me!
